Helen Shim serves as an Assistant Worship Pastor at North Jersey Vineyard Church and is a member of the Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Association.
In April of 2024, all of the Associations hosted a gathering of over 400 people at Vineyard Columbus called “Better Together: In Pursuit of Beloved Community,” and Helen was invited to lead worship on the mainstage and in a morning AAPI session.
“I don’t know if I have a specific word that can really encapsulate my experience at Better Together, but it was incredible. I thought it was such a beautiful moment. The whole week felt like a hug that I didn’t know I needed, but deep down I wanted. It felt like a big family reunion. Being able to lead songs in my native language of Korean was really powerful. And from the testimonies that I’ve heard from some people, it touched a part of their heart that maybe they didn’t realize God needed to speak to in that way.”
Helen was raised in a first-generation Korean Presbyterian Church and had sung hymns in Korean, but had never sung contemporary worship songs in her native language before this event. “I sang ‘Goodness of God’ in Korean, which is a song that I’ve sung many times at church because it speaks to what God has done in my life, and also ‘More Love, More Power.’ Even while I was practicing leading up to the conference I couldn’t sing or finish even the first verse without bawling my eyes out, because there’s just something about singing in my heart language that really spoke to me. I honestly didn’t know how it would be received at the conference. I just said, ‘God, I’m nervous as heck, and I’m putting myself out there and I feel so vulnerable. Just do what you want to do through this song.’ And I think he did. That was a powerful moment.”
Helen talked with a number of people who were really touched by these times of worship. “A Korean-American attendee who has been in the Vineyard for over twenty years told me he’d never heard Korean spoken in a Vineyard Conference context. It had me wondering if this was a moment where God was saying, ‘I’m opening the door and going to unleash and invite other languages.’ That’s what it felt like. It seems like a little thing, but I thought it was awesome that the slides were showing Korean characters and then it was written out phonetically because I was able to hear people trying to sing along and that was so encouraging to me.
Another person shared that when I was singing the song, she was praying in tongues, and this one particular word just kept coming out: “haree”. Then she noticed that I was also singing it in the song. It was from the line that goes “I will sing of the goodness of God.” She asked what “haree” meant, and I told her “haree” means “I will.” She broke down crying and said, “In my prayer I was saying, ‘God, here I am, use me, and I will.’ And so that word just meant so much to her.”
While there were so many valuable moments during the conference itself, Helen says that one of the things she really loved were the afterparties. “I felt like it was in those moments where we gathered as an AAPI community that I realized we’re a very communal culture. Even though we didn’t know each other and some of us came from far away it just felt like meeting a long-lost cousin I hadn’t seen in a while. And we got to share snacks that we all love.”
About the future of Associations in the Vineyard, Helen says, “I appreciate these gatherings where we can come together and share stories in a more intimate setting and invite others in who are not AAPI. I feel like we’re on the right track. I know it’s going to be messy and imperfect, but I think as long as we’re trying to embrace other cultures and create space for everyone, I imagine it will be amazing. I don’t know what it’ll look like, but I do know we’re on the right track and I really appreciate what the wider Vineyard is doing and trying. And I think it’s important to extend grace in that process, too. May it all be cloaked in grace as we are trying to walk towards the same goal.”
