The time will feel prayerful, and you might experience silence, and some prayerful listening. Time often slows down a bit as you and the director wait together on the Holy Spirit. The spiritual director will ask thoughtful, Spirit-led questions that go past the surface, and invite you into those deeper places. 

The time won’t focus on advice-giving or guidance regarding a decision. The director may offer some wisdom, and will often allow you space to hear God for yourself. They may give you a practice to try on your own after the session, or something to take to God and interact with Him further about. 

Meeting with a spiritual director can benefit you at any point in your life and ministry. It can be especially helpful: 

• When you want to connect with God or process something in your relationship with God.
• When you’re in a transition from one season or stage of life to another
• When you’re making a decision and need a space for discernment
• When you’re processing a loss or a place of grief
• When you want to grow spiritually
• When you have questions about God or yourself in the middle of a difficult season
• When you need to pay attention to your own life in the midst of your ministry to others

Typically, people meet with a director once a month for an hour. You might meet over Zoom or in person. Sometimes the series of meetings will be short, but often people meet with the same director over time—even years, if there is a particularly good fit.

Most directors charge a fee for the meeting, generally $65-85 (some fees are higher or lower than this range). Many also offer a sliding scale or a discount for ministry leaders. We encourage those on church staff to find out if their church will cover a portion of the costs.

Visit our listing of directors on the ‘Find a Spiritual Director’ tab to see who is available, and then contact them directly or contact us to help you find a fit. Either you or the director may suggest an initial conversation that allows both of you to discern a good fit. In that conversation, you’ll get to know more about the director, and you can tell the director about yourself. For example:

• You can tell the director about your experience with spiritual direction — are you new to it and need an introduction to it? Have you had past experiences that were good? Have you learned anything about what makes a good fit for you?
• Perhaps you noticed one of their special interests or areas of expertise, and would like to hear more about it and why it’s important to them.
• You might want to describe a little of what you’re hoping for from meeting with a spiritual director, or you might want to know more about their background.

Other directors will suggest simply starting in with a short meeting series, and allowing that series to help you determine whether the director/directee relationship is a good longer-term fit. Of course, as the directee, you can always request a short initial meeting. 

If you’d like to learn more about spiritual direction, the following resources can help:

Listen: Danielle Pathak featured spiritual direction on a webinar where she and Harry Fritzenschaft (who leads the Vineyard Coaching Network) talked about coaching and spiritual direction. You can find the webinar replay here. Listen from the beginning to hear about both  coaching and spiritual direction. For spiritual direction specifically, go to 35:24.

Read: “Being and Becoming” for an overview of Vineyard spiritual direction. “Being and Becoming” is a 2024 paper written by Jared Boyd, who interviewed several seasoned spiritual directors in the Vineyard. 

Spiritual directors who are interested in joining the network can learn about it here

Feel free to reach out to us. Contact Connie Willems, .